Contents of G:
When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
The meek may inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
All phone calls are obscene.
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.