G

When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them.

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

(1908--)

U.S. economist

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.

(1908--)

U.S. economist

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.

(1908--)

U.S. economist

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

(1892—1976)

U.S. industrialist

The meek may inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.

U.S. writer

All phone calls are obscene.

(1865—1936)

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.

(1947—1994)

U.S. humorist

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

(1947—1994)

U.S. humorist

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.