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Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
I don't believe in divorce. I believe in widowhood.
(1904—1986), Hollywood actor
I improve on misquotation.
(1890—1970), president of France.
How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheeses?
British novelist, to his mother when he was age 4
All right, I will learn to read, but when I have learned, I never, never shall.
I wouldn't mind paying taxes--if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
It takes about a week of treatment to cure a cold, but without treatment it takes about seven days.
A man is so in the way in the house.
You can't take it with you. You never see a U-Haul following a hearse.
If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice.