M

(1948--)

British novelist

One must have the courage of one's pessimism.

I don't know what a scoundrel is like, but I know what a respectable man is like, and it's enough to make your flesh creep.

(1930--)

U.S. comedian

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Keep staring at the stars and someday they will collapse.

(1907—1997)

U.S. author

I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter.

(1970--)

U.S. comedianactor

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over?? Movie Day.

(1917- ), Saturday Review, 1 February 1964

I have nothing against undertakers personally. It's just that I wouldn't want one to bury my sister.

(1953--)

U.S. actor

I only have two rules for my newly born daughter: she will dress well and never have sex.

The kilt is an unrivalled garment for fornication and diarrhoea.

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?