Contents of C:
I can prove anything by statistics--except the truth.
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
I think we should all treat each other like Christians. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see:
"We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.