R

God made men, and then said I can do better than that and made woman.

(1919- )

U.S. broadcaster

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

(1919-- ),

U.S. broadcaster

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

(1919--)

U.S. broadcaster

Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.

(1919--)

U.S. humorist

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

(1905—1982), Russian-American novelist

When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.

Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.

(1899—1966)

U.S. entrepreneur, author of song "Me and My Shadow"

Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing.

(1613—1679), French politician

Nothing sways the stupid more than arguments they can't understand.

(1966--)

U.S. comedianactor

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.