R

(1947--),Modern Manners, 1989

Men have children to prove they aren't impotent, or at least that some of their friends aren't.

U.S. humorist

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

U.S. humorist

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

U.S. comedian

I think war might be God's way of teaching us geography.

(1957--)

U.S. comedian

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1577—1640), Flemish baroque painter

Sir, when their backsides look good enough to slap, there's nothing more to do.

(1938--)

U.S. movie critic

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

U.S. comedienne

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight.

U.S. comedienne

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?