J
Contents of J:
(1767—1845), 1833
U.S. President
It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word.
(1573—1637)
English playwright
There be some men are born only to suck out the poison of books.
(1903—1987), French political theorist
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves.
(1911—1988)
U.S. writer
Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door.
Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch.
(1803—1857)
British playwrightjournalist
The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon.
(1942-- )
U.S. poetnovelist
Beware of the man who praises women's liberation; he is about to quit his job.
(1942-- )
U.S. poetnovelist
Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man.
(1942--), "How to Save Your Own Life" (1977)
U.S. writer, poet
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
(1853—1935)
The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
U.S. humorist
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
(1874—1948)
English writercritic
Why did Nature create Man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?
(1892—1980)
U.S. author
Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to.
U.S. philosopher
(1859—1927)
British author
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
(1859—1927)
British comic writer
It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar.
(1859—1927)
British comic writer
They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
(1859—1927)
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow. It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.
(1899—1940)
U.S. boxing manager, about attending the U.S. baseball World Series in 1935
I should of stood in bed.
U.S. astrologer
There are times not to flirt. When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand.
(50—130), Roman satirist
An incurable itch for scribbling takes possession of many and grows inveterate in their insane hearts.
(1566—1625)
King of Great Britain, in "A Counterblast to Tobacco "
A custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black, stinking fume thereof, nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke […]
U.S. president
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".
(1908—1973)
U.S. President
Greater love hath no man than to attend the Episcopal Church with his wife.
(Rolling Stones)
It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.
U.S. writer
You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do.
The only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort.
Life does not begin at conception, but when the kids leave home and the dog dies.
(1709—1784)
English author
Every man has the right to utter what he thinks truth, and every other man has a right to knock him down for it.
(1709—1784)
English author
I hate mankind, for I think of myself as one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.
(1709—1784)
English author
If I have said something to hurt a man once, I shall not get the better of this by saying many things to please him.
(1709—1784)
English writer
Being in a ship is being in jail, with the chance of being drowned.
(1709—1784)
English writer
The man who is asked by an author what he thinks of his work is put to torture, and is not obliged to speak the truth.
(1709—1784)
English writer
Whoever thinks of going to bed before twelve o'clock is a scoundrel.
(1709—1784) to James Boswell, 18 February 1775
The Irish are not in a conspiracy to cheat the world by false representations of the merits of their countrymen. No, Sir; the Irish are FAIR PEOPLE; they never speak well of one another.
(1709—1784), Oct. 5, 1773
A cucumber should be well sliced and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing.
(1709—1784), writer
Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.
(345—420), "On the Epistle to the Ephesians," ca. 420 A.D.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
(345—420), Attack on Jovinian
Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.
Critisizing Microsoft in his younger days:
"The only problem with Microsoft is they just have no taste. They have absoultely no taste. And what that means is, I don't mean it in a small way I mean it in a big way. In a sense that they, they don't think […]
People say you have to have a lot of passion for what you're doing and it's totally true, and the reason is because it's so hard, that if you don't, any rational person would give up. It's really hard, and you have to do it over a sustained period of […]
When you're young, you look at television and think, There's a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realize that's not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want. […]
(1916—1981), president of the University of South Carolina, in Wall Street Journal, 1975.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
(1743—1826)
U.S. President
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.
(1743—1826)
U.S. President
My opinion is that there would never have been an infidel if there had never been a priest.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
(1906—1965)
U.S. speech pathologist and general semanticist
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.